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Sexual identity has become an idol in both the culture at large and in the Christian subculture. And yet concepts like "gay" or "straight" are relatively recent developments in human history. We let ourselves be defined by socially constructed notions of sexual identity and sexual orientation--even though these may not be the only or best ways to think about sexuality. Anthropologist Jenell Williams Paris offers a Christian framework for sexual holiness that accounts for complex postmodern realities. She assesses problems with popular cultural and Christian understandings of heterosexuality and homosexuality alike. The End of Sexual Identity moves beyond culture-war impasses to open up new space for conversations in diverse communities both inside and outside the church.
- Sales Rank: #358803 in Books
- Published on: 2011-03-22
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.25" h x .50" w x 5.50" l, .45 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 160 pages
Review
With an ironic smile, The End of Sexual Identity attempts to perform reparative therapy on the church, so that she will convert from her cultural orientation back to the biblical one where humans are regarded as just humans-not reduced to their sexual deeds and desires. Paris shows that the sexual identity framework was not dropped on earth by some divine skyhook; we're better off without this newfangled invention. Hers is a prophetic call for the church to get over its heterosexist moral superiority and get on with its business of shepherding all persons toward sexual holiness. (Christopher Benson, Christianity Today Online, July 2012)
"This is a great book . . . Paris uses world history, culture, story, Scripture, thorough research and personal opinion to educate and challenge us to grow in our biblical worldview on sexuality, our compassion for individual differences and struggles, and encourages us to cease using what she calls a "sexual identity framework" to define who we are. She does all this and yet calls us to sexual holiness and repentance. I do hope you will read it!" (Kent Miller, YouthWorker Journal, May/June 2011)
"God gave us genitals, but he didn't stop there. He made us human. What does that mean? And what is love of neighbor? What is a welcoming church? What are strengths of celibacy when supported by Christian community? Not just scholarly but also painfully and hilariously personal, this book shatters stereotypes for the sake of the kingdom." (Miriam Adeney, professor, Seattle Pacific University, and author of Kingdom Without Borders)
"Jenell Paris has produced a provocative and astute diagnosis of our situation in the US: living in 'an oversexualized culture with an undersexualized spirituality.' She refuses to argue in broad generalizations and to remain content with the polarized categories that Christian reflections on sex and sexuality so often produce. As a Christian cultural anthropologist she digs below the surface and brings a sophisticated interpretation of the cultural complexity of our sexual lives. Her most piercing contribution is in challenging the 'sexual identity framework' itself that traps both Christian and non-Christian reflection on sexuality. She exposes just how paralyzed Christians become by the categories borrowed from the cultural waters we swim in, particularly the socially constructed and historically recent categories of 'heterosexual' and 'homosexual.' As someone who describes herself as a 'sex only within marriage between a man and a woman' kind of Christian, Dr. Paris's insights will surprise and challenge readers from seemingly incompatible perspectives on these issues. She is consistently gracious, but definitely not nice." (Jamie Gates, M.Div., Ph.D., cultural anthropologist and director of the Center for Justice and Reconciliation at Point Loma Nazarene University)
"I love Jenell Williams Paris's suggestion that we not stuff anyone into any identity box other than the one for those Jesus calls beloved. It's exceedingly hard to say a fresh word on these matters. Paris has done so with wisdom and gentleness." (Jason Byassee, executive director of leadership education, Duke Divinity School)
"The End of Sexual Identity is a brilliant, bold, personal and biblically grounded work that is destined to become a classic in its field. By exposing the culturally conditioned nature of our modern Western 'sexual identity framework,' Paris completely reframes Christian debates about sexual ethics and thereby helps us (finally!) move effectively in our understanding of what it means to pursue sexual holiness. As a pastor, I have to confess that this is the most helpful, paradigm-changing and stimulating book on this topic I've ever read. I couldn't recommend it more strongly!" (Greg Boyd, senior pastor, Woodland Hills Church)
"This is a singularly important book, about sexuality but also about culture, and it is a model of charity, clarity and creativity. While this is certainly not the last word on Christian sexual ethics, it could be the first word of a better and more honest conversation about holiness and faithfulness amidst our age's sexual confusion." (Andy Crouch, author of Culture Making: Recovering Our Creative Calling)
"Jenell Paris does us a great favor by reminding us that God didn't create heterosexuals or homosexuals. People did, and fairly recently, in fact. Paris reveals the church's cultural captivity to Western ideas of sexual identity and orientation--that what we want, sexually speaking, is who we are. Humbug. Paris challenges the church with the words of Paul: don't be captive to the patterns of this world. Both heterosexuality and homosexuality--and the panoply of other possible identities and acronyms--are social constructions that pose problems for a people whose identity is to be found in Christ. Instead, Paris reminds us that God has redeemed us, called us by name and claimed us as his own. That is an identity worth affirming. Paris challenges us to live beyond sexual identity, even as we pursue sexual holiness, and provides us with a vision for what a post-sexual-identity church might look like. This is a rich book, one that is long overdue. It is theologically sound, has deep ramifications for the church and will rattle some quarters. Good." (Mark D. Regnerus, professor of sociology, University of Texas, and author of Forbidden Fruit and Premarital Sex in America)
"Jenell Williams Paris brings a fresh perspective to the subject of sexual identity as she reminds us that we are all just people and far from perfect, 'each of whom is lover and loved.' She invites us to extend and receive grace even as she boldly encourages us to think a bit differently than we might about sexuality. I highly recommend it." (Lisa Graham McMinn, Ph.D., professor of sociology and author of Sexuality and Holy Longing)
"Honest. Smart. Provocative. Helpful. Important. Pitch-perfect. These are only a few of the words that came to mind when I read Jenell Williams Paris's book The End of Sexual Identity. This book is a must-read for engaging the issue of sexuality in our world today. Not only does Jenell call us to a better way to engage with sexuality, she casts a beautiful vision of what sexual wholeness and a post-sexual identity church can be." (Doug Pagitt, pastor, Solomon's Porch, Minneapolis, Minnesota, and author of A Christianity Worth Believing)
"It is exciting to me to read Christian scholars who take their faith and their discipline seriously. As a Christian and an anthropologist, Jenell Williams Paris does just that and applies her understanding to the challenging topic of sexual identity, drawing conclusions that, while controversial, warrant our attention and may lead the way to a more constructive conversation." (Mark A. Yarhouse, Psy.D., professor of psychology, endowed chair and director of the Institute for the Study of Sexual Identity, Regent University)
About the Author
Jenell Williams Paris (Ph.D., American University) is professor of anthropology at Messiah College in Grantham, Pennsylvania. She has written for such publications as Christianity Today, Books & Culture and Christian Scholar's Review. Her books include Birth Control for Christians, Urban Disciples and Introducing Cultural Anthropology: A Christian Perspective.
Most helpful customer reviews
47 of 47 people found the following review helpful.
Good overall, but one major problem
By Karen
Paris' goal for her book is admirable. She is concerned about the moral superiority that many straight Christians have that cause them to judge those who are gay. She believes that the categories "heterosexual" and "homosexual" are unhelpful constructs that create unnecessary division between groups of people. Paris proposes an end to sexual identity. By refusing to take on a label of straight or gay, she hopes to level the playing field as each of us consider the other first and foremost as a human being created by God. Thus, Paris says she tells her class that she is not heterosexual--even as she recognizes that her sexual identity is obvious (she is married with children, etc). She argues that she does not want to be heterosexual because she does not want a life of privilege in which other people are marginalized.
Paris' goal is noble. She provides an important message to those Christians who have so alienated LGBT people as completely Other. Her book is well done and I recommend it overall. However there is a fundamental and important problem with her thesis; she takes a "love is color blind" approach. This common phrase was popular awhile back as a way of speaking against racism. However, many came to recognize the significant flaw in that concept. If one has to pretend not to see a person's black skin in order to love her, then how is that love? Rather true love sees a person's skin color and loves him with that skin color. Furthermore, pretending a person is not black does nothing to eliminate the very real embodied existence of people. This is true for gender as well. We can pretend that there is not a rigid category of "female", but even without societal prejudice, a woman's experience of pain every month because of menstruation or the experience of childbirth are fundamentally different than the embodied reality of males.
Paris can say she does not want to be heterosexual in order to avoid being privileged, but that will not change her privileged status or serve to reduce marginalization. The fact is, we cannot live in a "gender blind" or "sexuality blind" world. The solution is not to pretend these categories don't exist, but rather to shape people's hearts and minds such that they humanize those who are different from themselves. Paris understands this to some extent. She knows saying she is no longer heterosexual is "inane" because she is happily married to a man and is a mother--things that visibly mark her in our society as heterosexual. Whether or not we use labels, we display our sexuality on a daily basis in a myriad of ways. The moment a gay person reaches over to hold the hand of his partner while sitting in a restaurant, his orientation becomes known. It is precisely because our sexuality is so public and visible that gay people have fought to come up for air. Having to hide such a public aspect of self is exhausting and leads to a life of pretense. Its not that there was never such a thing as a sexual identity or orientation, but that heterosexual identity is so ingrained in the cultural structure that the privileged take it for granted. Cultures across history have had all kinds of rituals and markers to proclaim their sexual identity--marriage rites, courting/mating rituals, customs around procreation, boundaries of who and who is not an appropriate sexual partner, etc.
People attracted to their own sex have lived in secrecy precisely because everyone knows exactly what heterosexual is and what homosexual is. Despite her book focusing on the issue of sexual identity, it is strangely silent on why LGBT identity has developed in the first place. What she desires to accomplish in her work will not succeed until she more clearly addresses why identity is important to many gay people. It is easy for her to dismiss sexual identity because her status is accepted. In fact, she can refuse to use the term heterosexual but she is still marked and recognized as such by how she lives her life. But for those of us who do not fit the norm, having some ability to name our sexuality is very important. We no longer have to pretend our lives are like everyone else's. Its exhausting not to be able to share about life, relationships, and love. More than that it prevents the ability to have meaningful relationships with others. Gay people desire to be treated with dignity and respect despite difference and not merely loved because no one really knows us--because we have had to hide so much of ourselves.
Paris is right to acknowledge that there are different ways to think about gender and sexuality beyond the binary. She is right to deconstruct the binary between heterosexual and homosexual. Those do not capture the complexity of human experience. But, the variety that exists does not negate the reality that there are those who, indeed, have fixed sexual orientations from a young age that do not change despite any effort to change. These individuals ARE different--and not just different on a simplistic level of desire. Many gay people realize they are different long before puberty or sexual feelings. It is not uncommon for gay people to be gender atypical or have particular giftedness in certain areas; for example, music, the arts, and some studies even show lesbians have a higher than average IQ and greater perceptivity skills.
To make my point, I will use my own life as an example. I grew up in a very conservative Baptist church. I didn't become gay because of the power of suggestion or as Paris puts it "what is defined as real is real in its effect." Paris also writes: "Desires, however biologically grounded, are formed by culture; we can't want what we don't know." Actually we can and quite often are surprised by unexpected desire! I had no known exposure to gay people. Gay people were seen as utterly alien and degenerate sub-humans outside the Church. I was gender atypical from the get-go, a tomboy. And I had crushes on girls even before the crushes became sexual. I have never been in love with a man in my life, but I have definitely experienced being in love with more than one woman. When I have tried to kiss a person of the opposite sex I felt nothing at best and wanted to vomit at worst. But, kissing a woman is incredibly powerful and beautiful. Coming to terms with my sexuality after falling in love with my best friend at the age of 17 was extremely traumatic because I could not fathom how a good Christian girl like me, going off to Bible college to be a missionary, could possibly be gay.
I cannot hide my sexual identity as Paris would suggest I do. Not if I want to live an honest life. My sexuality makes itself known any time I don't engage in normal social interactions. For example, in college some of my female friends were talking about boys and then they stopped and said, "Karen, how come you never talk about boys?" Even without disclosing my sexuality, they knew I was different because I could not participate in ordinary social conversation and behavior. Why wasn't I dating? Or why did I like the female characters in the movie while my friends gushed over the boys? Why am I not married yet? Or what about simple conversations about dating history and being in love? And this is true even when I am not dating any women! If I were in a dating relationship, I would only have to open my mouth and say what I am doing on a Friday night (going on a date) in order to disclose my difference. I would disclose my difference if I just held hands with my significant other.
So we can pretend all we want about getting rid of categories, but not using labels does not change reality. And the reality is there are people who are primarily attracted to the opposite sex and will have markers in their lives that identify them as such. And there are those who are primarily attracted to the same-sex and will have markers as such--if they are brave enough to live an honest life that many heterosexual people take for granted. This does not mean that acknowledging one's sexuality precludes a Christian identity. My identity is grounded in Christ. But we all use different labels--not just one. Yes, I am first of all a human being made in the image of God, but I am also a woman, gay, etc. These profoundly shape my experience. To say I should not refer to myself as gay is like saying I should stop calling myself a "woman" because if I pretend male and female are not real categories it might somehow eliminate discrimination against women.
Even as a celibate gay person, I have found it important to name my experience. We need language to make sense of our lives. Even Paris acknowledges that it is difficult to function without labels such as "professor", "mother" etc. Paris' advice might be useful for privileged heterosexuals who have not had to face their privilege. But it is not helpful for people like me. It invalidates me and my experience. And not only does it invalidate me, but her desire to be rid of identity labels can actually be damaging. For example, she may not realize that the ex-gay movement (which I was once a part of) has significant baggage around its reluctance for participants to use the term "gay". It is common for an "ex-gay" person to say they are "no longer gay" even though they still have all their same-sex attractions. This has resulted in the perpetuation of a huge deception--a deception the Religious Right capitalized on in order to "prove" that sexual orientation is changeable and thus, gay people should not be protected from any discrimination. It has also led to self-deception. People so badly wanted to be straight and have normal lives that they would convince themselves they were "no longer gay" and get married to the opposite sex, not infrequently without disastrous results.
The renunciation of sexual identity easily perpetuates a deception, a pretense. We all know there is such a thing as "a person who is predominately attracted to the same-sex" and a "a person who is predominately attracted to the opposite sex." You can call them whatever you want or just use lengthy descriptive phrases like I just did, but the realities and, thus, categories exist. Prejudice does not exist because we use terms like "heterosexual" and "homosexual". Prejudice is evoked the moment most conservative Christians see a man hold his male partner's hand and revulsion is the automatic response. Instead of pretending the categories don't exist, we need to be Christians who don't have to be blind in order to love. We need to be Christians who have our eyes wide open and are filled with compassion and understanding when we see, actually see, the human being who stands before us--however different she is.
21 of 21 people found the following review helpful.
The Thinking Christian's Guide to (Ending) Sexual Identity
By Timothy Buchanan
This is the first time I have read anything by Janell Paris, but I have to say I was really pleased with what I read! I happened across this book immediately after having a discussion with a pastor friend concerning sexual identity. As a friend of mine recently "came out" to me, I began wondering how I could possibly ask him to find his identity in Christ rather than in his sexual identity, when I was perfectly comfortable finding my identity in my own heterosexuality. With Paris' help, you will find yourself deconstructing your own sexual identity to discover the beloved individual beneath. One of Paris' main points is that when you find you identity in the love of Christ, you no longer need to find your identity in your sexuality. Rather, individual aspects of your sexual nature can be observed independently and can be adjusted and surrendered with fluidity. The question is now no longer "Can gay people change?" but "Are we each willing to surrender every aspect of our multifaceted sexuality to the will of a loving God?"
After having read this book, I find myself more comfortable "coming out" as a "non-heterosexual." This doesn't mean that I will leave my wife or begin pursuing members of my same sex. Rather, it is my way of disassociating my identity from my sexuality. My identity is as a beloved child of God, not a heterosexual married male. And there is comfort and hope in that for both opposite-sex attracted individuals and same-sex attracted individuals.
The only thing that kept me from giving this book a full 5 stars is that I was really looking for a more straightforward guide to ministering to people with "non-traditional" sexual leaning. But ultimately, it drew me to a deeper (albeit more difficult) place of exploring sexuality, identity, grace, and hope. And for that, I'm thankful.
As a youth pastor, I highly recommend this book to anyone ministering to people struggling or dealing with issues of sexual and gender identity issues, as it will Biblically and thoughtfully re-frame the way you think about sexuality and people. Definitely worth reading.
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
Doing away with inappropriate categories
By D. Maddalena
Paris' book was very encouraging to me. I've felt dissatisfied with the state of the public dialog around issues of sexuality. It has begun to feel like a gang-war raging outside my door: each side demonizing the other, dismissing them with broad generalizations based on the "colors" they wear. Paris suggests a third way to the thoughtful Christian (and not Christians alone), who hopes to see the question of identity dealt with in a more rational way. Her simple point is that our identity is not determined by our feelings, desires, orientations, hopes, and dreams. God alone is the source of our identity, especially if we name ourselves Christian. So if any human comes to Jesus, if any person is willing to be identified as a follower of Jesus, the question becomes, "how then will they live?". This suggests that a deeper, harder, more honest dialog is in order -- not identifying anyone based on behavior (right, wrong, or in between) but on their willingness to be counted as belonging to Jesus. From that place of solidarity, each person, regardless of how they struggle for purity in the world, has the same task, to face God and to pursue deeper devotion every day.
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